No not Never

I don't really know why I can't seem to find people who miss me outside of my family. I miss friends and John when I'm not around them. If I want to see any of them, I have to set it up all the time. I'm the one who has to travel to see them. Nobody EVER comes to me. IT SUCKS and I HATE IT. Part of me wants to move to Florida or Alaska for no other reason than to be as far away from anyone I know as possible. EVERYONE I know or have known, has been married at least once, had children, had a life; except me. I'm 41 and still unable to support myself in anyway. My parents still pay for my gas. No wonder why John doesn't want me as a permanent part of his life. I have not shown him I'm worth it. I'm not. I'm fat, I have bad credit, I can't get a job, I have genital herpes and chronic depression. There is nothing attractive about me at all. I may as well stop taking the antidepressants because they clearly are not working. I'm not a horrible person but I can't seem to get anything right.