I cannot believe it! My little Kayla is 18 years old. It seems like just yesterday she was swimming naked in a kiddie pool in the front yard. She is so desperate to get out of her mothers house, she actually asked me if I would share an apartment with her. I didnt really know if I should take it as a compliment or not, so I did :). I guess Im cooler than I thought in their eyes, maybe. I told her thank you but no. I can't switch from Aunt to roommate. I wouldnt be able to resist trying to protect her from potential mistakes. Shes an adult now. She needs to make mistakes in order to grow into the woman that Ive always known she can be. Happy Birthday Sparkey!
In other words.................have I mentioned that I cant stand my sister. One of her more adoring attributes is her inability to see me without criticizing me. I haveant seen her or talked to her in over a month. Today she comes over to my parents house to partake in Kayla's birthday dinner and makes some side-mouthed comment about me and how I always hold a grudge. Well sister dear, the only people I hold a grudge agaist are the ones who are a CONSTANT and PERSISTANT thorn in my side. When someone who is supposed to love you unconditionaly holds you responsible for distroying "the best thing that ever happened to me", and also pressures you to date one of your friends who then dumps me because I wont fuck him, yeah, Im gonna hold a grudge. When the person puts her own children's last on her list of priorities even below her friends, yes Im going to hold a grudge! When a person calls me and my mother fat pigs, fat slobs, bitches, IN FRONT OF MY NIECES and doesnt defend either of us...............You bet your fucking ass Im gonna hold a grudge!
I really need to move. I dont know where, and I dont know how, but I NEED to leave. I think Im stuck. SHIT! I desperately want to move down south somewhere. At least there there is one person who wants me around, she knows who she is. I can loose myself in the mass of people. In time I guess. Knowing my luck though, as soon as I can swing the move, that one person will move up north to raise her family like shes always wanted. SHIT! Just once, Id like something to go the way I want it to.
2 comments:
As much as that person would really like to move up north, it isn't going to happen. Life and business and commitments sometimes make you choose a path that you never thought was your own. Yes Northern California is nice but it would bring it's own share of issues.
Your sister is a bully. She says and does the things she does because she has no self esteem. What is it to her if you hold a grudge against someone. You and I both know that we ave done enough to each other over the years that we could hate each other and never talk again. Yet we both made an effort and through that have remained bestest friends, that really doesn't seem like something a gredge holder would do. There is a limit to how much any person can take from someone, especially if that person can't see the wrong they have done. Just know that no matter what she or anyone else says or thinks, there are people who know and love the real you, warts and all.
I used to have a wart on my thumb. Its gone now. :O)
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