
So, I tried to lighten my hair with a drug store hair color. It didnt work that well. Its a little lighter, but I think im gonna have to go to a salon to get the color I want.........OUCH!!!
Now, Im going to rant. I may offend the masses of people who read my blog, but it is after all, MY BLOG, and I can say whatever I want. If I offend you, Im sorry, but there are billions of other blogs you are free to go read. So, on with my rant.
I got to talk to my best friend in the entire world today. I dont think she knows that when I talk to her, it is always the bright spot in my day. I was recently given the honor to stand up next to her (sort of) while she married the man of her dreams. The day was jammed full of emotion for everyone. I was feeling so many different things, I didnt know what to say or do for her. So, I did what I knew best to do, just be there for whatever she needed from me. I tried to shield her from anything unpleasant, but was unsuccessfull. It rained on her magical day. TO her and me rain is the best kind of fun. But to most people it is a great annoyance. She would not have minded getting married in the rain, but she gave up that part of her dream to get married in her parents family room. To see her do this, crushed me. Ive known her for 14 years, and when we'd be silly and talk about the imposible dream of marriage, hers was always the same, in her parents front yard, with a bbq reception in the back yard. TO see the cerimony site set up, and ready, but never used, made me cry. Espically the next day when we cleaned up the chairs and people calously tromped over the isle of yellow roses, it made me sad.
The absolute most irritating fact of the entire event was the brushing over the fact that there actually TWO families comming together, not one family getting bigger. My best friends brother, did not get to sit with her at her own rehearsal dinner. He was told to just find a place. The wedding party, was shoved into the corners. Recognized of course by the bride and the groom, but unless you were lucky enough to be a relative of that clan, you were not that important. To their credit, they did have a rather large number of people fly across the country to attend the cerimony. BUT, it was, after all, a celebration of TWO people, not one.
I was relieved to see that the reception was a smash hit! I hope with all my heart and soul that my best friend did have a happy day that she will never forget. I still cry when i look at my dried out flowers that I will try to preserve. Im looking into some kind of shalacking stuff for dried flowers. Ill let you know if it works or not when I test it on something else. No wedding ever happens without a crisis of some kind, and without offending someone. The strength comes from the ability to move on and let the shallow ones drown in their own puddle of conciete. (stop spell checking me K!)
I love you dearly K, my heart was over flowing with pride for you, happiness for you, thinking that B is the lucky one to have found someone to put up with the way he smacks his food, wishing you and him only the VERY VERY VERY best that life has to offer, and of course envy.
Sometimes you just know when things are not going to happen for you. For me, I know that children will never spring forth from my loins, and that marriage or even a long term relationship, is not in my future. Im mostly okay with that. I have friends. Sometimes I get lonley and sometimes I feel like Im imposing on others, but that feeling never lasts too long. Its barable and Im tough most of the time. Ive always known that you would find that magic with someone K, and Im elated for you. Im sorry that your day was not what you dreamed it would be,b ut I hope it was still the very best day.